A New Year's Blog

My new Year's resolution- to read my bible and pray every day.

I'm praying that God will graciously draw us closer to Him. Because I am an anxiety-ridden control freak it scares me to death what God may allow to do it, but I truly want to surrender to God's will and I want my family to grow in Him.

SO, I begin by asking God to forgive me, a sinner, and please have mercy during the whole wretched process of breaking my will.

But am I truly surrendering, or just trying to manipulate God?
Let's face it, friends. God knows our hearts. I know I try to use vernacular manipulation with God. I pray, " Please God, can you please draw me closer to you in a very nurturing way" or, " Please God, can you take it a little easy on me? Please don't let my family suffer through heart break to draw near to you"

Please God, draw me to You in my way.

Is this truly surrendering to God and His will? Do I really want God to act in my life?

I have suffered loss, and I recognize it as God's Divine Hand in my life to bring me to Him. So, herein lies the dilemma. I want to be closer to God without Him allowing whatever in my life to draw me to Him.

Do you do this?

I could use prayer for this area of my life. If you need prayer , I will gladly pray for you.
It's my New Year's resolution

Competitve/Envious Housewife Disorder

You know I only write something here when I get the gusto- or when something is ( I think) REALLY worth mentioning. So, here goes another weird rambling on my part...

I wanted a quiet year- you know- the kind where I'm NOT running around to sporting events.

I know.

But I really did think it wouldn't be like last year! Boy, was I wrong. So, going to all of Chet's t-ball, and Amaris' tennis practices, I met up with the same circle of moms who I've been seeing for years- at school, in clubs, playdates, and sporting events. These moms belong to a certain clique I'm not aware of. Listening to them was like watching pit vipers defend their nests- but with smilies. Smiling vipers.
That was when I realized that we have an epidemic on our hands.

It seems I'm the only one who sees this epidemic, so I'll name it. I'll call it, uuh, Competitive/Envious Housewife Disorder- or CEHD.

We, as women, hold A LOT of pride. Pride in what we do, how well we do it, and how we look while doing it.
Taking your kids to sporting events, you can always see the clusters of housewives chatting it up- feigning horrible dilemmas such as grass stains, vacuuming, laundry, and dinner. They all look perky. Hair in place, make-up on, kids all together- PERFECT!

Or are we?

We feign imperfection, while trying to show perfection. We try our very best to prove that we are all together, and then for modesty's sake talk about how we DON'T have it all together. So, I ask of you housewife, mama, or both... Which is it?

See, I believe the symptoms of CEHD are in the heart. Ask yourself these questions to see if you have CEHD:


1. Do you replace your child's stained t-shirt with a clean one before a playdate, even though you know the clean one will be trashed by the end of the day?

2. Do you do your hair and makeup, and put on your cutest clothes to go to a t-ball game, only to tell the other moms that your hair and clothes are a mess?

3. Do you ever scrub your entire house before someone comes over, only to lament at what a cluttered and disorganized horror it is?

4. Do you judge other parents that look disheveled and stressed?

5. Do you put the name-brand snacks you bought at Walmart in a Wegmans bag before taking it to the game?

WHY?

See, I have a theory. I believe we as women dress and behave not to make ourselves look nicer for our husbands and to honor and glorify God, but to provoke envy in other women. It's all competition. And when we see another lady who "has it all together", we are envious of them. We covet what they have- or seem to have.
We are dissatisfied with what God has blessed us with, because it's not what Suzie-Q's mom has.

Now that we have come up with whether or not you are suffering from ( or enjoying) CEHD- I guess we should have a cure. Good thing there is one.

Phillipians 2:3 Let nothing be done by selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself

James 4: 7-10 Therefore, submit to God, Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse you hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.

Lemons into Lemonade

Has anyone seen the new Avatar movie yet??

Let me start by saying this- it's PG-13. So, naturally, I took my 10 year old daughter to see it. I know what your thinking... put this one up for mother-of-the-year, right?? Yeeaaaah.
The truth is, the movie is full of action and nauseatingly fast-paced digital imagery and is very exciting to watch. I especially loved Sigourney Weaver in it. But Spiritually? Yikes!

The Na'Vi in the movie is a culture made from a mish-mash African and Native American religions and beliefs. They have a whole Pocahontas theme going, with a Shaman and a chanting people who worship a Goddess tree, who answers prayers. It is very weird. Very. Weird.

Great, I thought. How am I going to explain this to my daughter? We sit watching the movie while I silently beat myself up for taking my beloved baby, whose walk with Christ is more important to me than the beautiful breaths she takes. How am I going to protect her from all the ugliness, evil, and strange religions this world has to offer? How can I keep her focused on Christ? How can I undo the spiritual damage this movie can do? God, how could I do this to my child???

In my momentous attack of melodrama, God gave me the answers to all of my "How can I's"

I CAN'T. Only HE can.

My babies have to branch out into this vile world. I can't homeschool and protect them forever. I can't place them in a baptist bubble. I can't force their walk with Christ.

As we sat in the car on the drive home, Dara said something amazing. My astute little one saw the Pocahontas influence. Thanks to GOD, and a movie titled" The New World", her greatest excitement came from the fact that even though Pocahontas came from a tribe of unfamiliar savagery, SHE GOT SAVED. And so could the Na'Vi from the movie..." because that's why God sends missionaries.", Dara says with a smile.

What Stress Can Do

So I have been noticing lately that I'm getting a bald spot. No, it's not in the back- it's right in the front for all to admire. I spoke to my friend and hairdresser and instead of saying what I tactfully hoped she would, she said," Yeah, I see that you are going bald". She suggested a new hair-do . It's basically a comb-over. I am grateful.
After working her magic, she asks me a rather odd question- "Are you under a lot of stress?". HUH?

Well, yes. Yes I am. In the past year we have battled MRSA, hospital visits, anxiety disorder, my dad's wife being terminally ill, and more medical bills than we can pay.

But I never really thought of it as stress. I thought of them as trials. Trials given by Our Heavenly Father to grow my family and bring us closer to Him. I see a year of reliance on His Word and Grace.

Matthew 10:28-31 "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows"

God knows the diminishing number of hairs on my head! Hallelujah!

And that's what stress does... It makes you thankful for going bald.

Class Clown

So, here goes a blog. I am not tech savvy, or very interesting. I have never dreamed of offering my two cents. Blogs were something I read; not ever did I consider writing one- until now.

See, I've had an epiphany. Maybe it's because I've not been sleeping well, or maybe it's due to the fact that I have Beethoven's 7th reeling through my head-- who knows. I just know that this morning, at 5am, I was hit by reality.

Now, let's get one thing straight... I am a big fan of reality. I happen to think that more people should become acquainted with it. But,on this morning, reality is not my comforting friend. I woke up with one thing on my mind this morning- Traci Stanton Little. Traci is a friend and fellow blogger who writes about Our Lord. Always. I had the priviledge of going for a walk with her this summer, and all she did was talk about God. Her love for Jesus is amazing. It flavored every word that came from her with kindness, gentleness, peace and joy. Of course, I had pretty much nothing to offer. And therein lies the epiphany.

I am the class clown. I love to laugh, and make others laugh. I can't help but see the humor in EVERYTHING. But, is that edifying? Is my wit encouraging others to walk more closely to God? Now I do agree that God loves laughter and humor occasionally, but God wants us to glorify Him always. I woke this morning realizing that I am the biblical interpretation of "class clown"-- FOOL. And not the good kind. Not the fool for Christ we should be, but the ugly, railing, harsh kind.

I realized this morning that even though I couldn't stop smiling and laughing, Traci Little said nothing funny on our midsummer's walk.

I woke this morning praying for God to change my heart.