A New Year's Blog

My new Year's resolution- to read my bible and pray every day.

I'm praying that God will graciously draw us closer to Him. Because I am an anxiety-ridden control freak it scares me to death what God may allow to do it, but I truly want to surrender to God's will and I want my family to grow in Him.

SO, I begin by asking God to forgive me, a sinner, and please have mercy during the whole wretched process of breaking my will.

But am I truly surrendering, or just trying to manipulate God?
Let's face it, friends. God knows our hearts. I know I try to use vernacular manipulation with God. I pray, " Please God, can you please draw me closer to you in a very nurturing way" or, " Please God, can you take it a little easy on me? Please don't let my family suffer through heart break to draw near to you"

Please God, draw me to You in my way.

Is this truly surrendering to God and His will? Do I really want God to act in my life?

I have suffered loss, and I recognize it as God's Divine Hand in my life to bring me to Him. So, herein lies the dilemma. I want to be closer to God without Him allowing whatever in my life to draw me to Him.

Do you do this?

I could use prayer for this area of my life. If you need prayer , I will gladly pray for you.
It's my New Year's resolution